Claudia Zucker, Experienced Child Custody Attorney in Northern Virginia
The determination of which parent will maintain custody of a child is one of the most hotly contested issues with which Virginia family law attorneys have to deal. In some instances, however, both parents conclude that they can do what’s in the best interest of their child without a formal child custody or visitation agreement. In cases like these, whichever parent is caring for the child at the moment has de facto custody. De facto custody changes hands whenever the child is transferred from one parent to another.
This is obviously a very precarious position for either parent, as the physical custody of a child has almost no bearing in a Virginia court of law without a formalized child custody agreement, or court order. The parent who has de facto custody can attempt to deny the other party visitation indefinitely but has no real legal control. Only a court can enter an order that is enforceable on the issue of legal or physical custody. This creates a precarious situation for both the parties and the children. Often times, games are played to try to manipulate or deceive the other party or the children into believing what they have to do; when in reality there is not court order.
Parents who decide to forgo a child custody agreement are susceptible to the whims of the other party. Even if both parents agree on what’s best at the time of the divorce (or split in the case of non-married parents), moods and sentiments can change over time. For instance, the divorcing parents of a two-year-old boy may agree that their son will reside primarily with the mother, but the father will take him every other weekend. This system is convenient and reasonable to all parties for the first few years until the father loses his job and starts drinking heavily. He moves to an affordable but unsafe neighborhood and sometimes has alcohol on his breath when he picks up the boy. On a Sunday night—around the time that the father would be dropping off their son—the mother receives a phone call from him explaining that he has decided to take the child on a two-week trip to visit his paternal grandparents in Montana and won’t be bringing him back tonight. What makes matters worse is that until the child’s mother can contact a Virginia family law attorney to seek an injunction, the father has the legal right to do this.
As hyperbolic as this example may seem, it’s not unusual for one parent to make unilateral decisions for a child without consulting the other. And while a child custody or visitation agreement won’t necessarily stop a parent from behaving erratically, it will detail exactly what’s legally required of both parents. Child custody and visitation agreements are never permanent and can be modified upon a showing of a significant change in circumstances in the best interest of the minor children. In simple terms, a written, court approved agreement will define the roles of the parents and ensure that their right to be a part of their children lives will be enforceable when necessary in a court of law.
Virginia Divorce and Family Law Attorney Claudia Zucker
Do you need a divorce attorney? Do you have questions about child custody without an agreement? We invite you to contact us today at (703) 596-1005. We're always just a phone call away.
